


To Eat A Cracker

by citrusfriend



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Eating Disorders, Gen, I wrote this in like ten minutes, Kenma is a good friend, Light Angst, Nonbinary Kozume Kenma, Recovery, kuroo is trying to recover from a restrictive ed, sorta a comfort fic?, wow another fic where i project my problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 12:14:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14332251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrusfriend/pseuds/citrusfriend
Summary: Kenma’s bedroom door burst open and Kuroo strode in with a glowing grin across his face.“I feel like shit!” he announced brightly.





	To Eat A Cracker

**Author's Note:**

> Me projecting all of my problems into someone else so I can pretend the person comforting them is comforting me? It's more likely than you think

    Kenma’s bedroom door burst open and Kuroo strode in with a glowing grin across his face.

    “I feel like shit!” he announced brightly, the wide grin still in place. He swung the door shut before flopping on Kenma’s bed face-first.

    Kenma blinked at him. “Have you eaten?”

    Kuroo turned his face toward Kenma. “Nope!” The grin didn’t waver.

    Closing their book, Kenma leaned over their mattress to grab the box of gold fish crackers they had stored there. They had misjudged the distance, though, and momentarily flailed to avoid toppling onto the floor before Kuroo hauled them up by the arm. Once they had righted themself, they thrust the box at him.

    The fake smile finally dropped. Kuroo grimaced and pushed the box away with one finger. “I feel like shit,” he said, this time like it was an explanation.

    Kenma’s neutral expression fell away to reveal the most unimpressed face they could manage. “You’ll feel like shit if you eat, and you’ll feel like shit if you don’t. This way, at least _I_ won’t feel like shit.” They pushed the box at him again, this time more pointedly. Then they reopened their book and continued to read. Kuroo would feel even less inclined to eat if he had an audience.

    Instead of opening the box, Kuroo smashed his face into the mattress. But he didn’t push it away again, so Kenma decided that it was progress.

    “I gained three pounds.”

    Kenma paused in the middle of turning the page. They knew it wasn’t the number itself that was bothering Kuroo; he didn’t restrict because he wanted to lose weight. No, it was just about control, so if he could control the number on a scale, he would feel proud of himself. Kenma still didn’t know how to combat that when they knew that Kuroo never felt proud of himself under any other circumstance.

    So they just gently reminded him, “And you lost over fifteen in a month. Gaining weight isn’t a bad thing.”

    Kuroo turned onto his side to look at Kenma with a twisted expression. “I ate dinner yesterday,” he whispered.

    Kenma already knew that--Kuroo told them every time he ate--but they knew that Kuroo hadn’t said it to inform them. It was an excuse. “And it’s lunchtime now. It’s okay to eat.”

    Kuroo’s eyes fell from Kenma’s face to stare at the box of crackers, but he didn’t otherwise move.

    This Kuroo was shockingly different from the one he was with everyone else. If Kenma hadn’t witnessed for the development of both of these facets of Kuroo’s personality over the years, they would have been shaken by it. This Kuroo would spend hours agonizing over whether or not he deserved to eat that day. This Kuroo would cry into Kenma’s shoulder because _why can’t he just be normal?_ This Kuroo needed reassurance before and after eating that he wasn’t worthless. This Kuroo was vulnerable, but Kenma didn’t mind. They knew how unique their position was with Kuroo, and they appreciated the trust. They would take on the responsibility without a word, because Kuroo deserved that.

    But Kuroo couldn’t be pushed into things the way Kenma often needed to be. He had to make the decision himself, because sometimes he really _couldn’t_ eat. Kenma just needed to hold him and remind him that he wasn’t weak for eating--or not eating. He wasn’t weak for taking care of himself, but he also wasn’t weak if he couldn’t win every battle against his eating disorder.

    Kenma returned to their book to let Kuroo make his decision. If he needed something from them, he would say something--not asking for anything so much as lementing, but it would be enough that Kenma would know what he needed. So Kenma read their book and waited.

    Kuroo opened the box. Kenma smiled.


End file.
